shoes or flip-flops: flip-flops

Tony or Ridley Scott: Ridley

"Mad TV" or "SNL": jam pencil in eye

Coppola or Scorsese: Scorsese

Fox News or CNN: turn TV off

the book or the movie: the book

paper or plastic: whatever kills the planet faster

Stewart or Colbert: Sophie's choice, man

Old 97's or Whiskeytown: cyclical

chunky or smooth: smooth

fold or wad: fold

regular stall or handicap: handicap