Due to circumstances somewhat beyond my control, I lived for a brief period of time with a girl named Karmen, who was Chinese and originally hailed from Canada, resulting in one of the calmest roommates I've ever had. It usually fell to me to check the mail, which was when I noticed the letters sent to her were actually addressed to Kar-Yee. In an attempt to Anglicize her name, I guess because it would be easier to get along, she'd gone with Karmen, a decision I found more puzzling every time I thought about it.

First, why change it to a name that doesn't really exist? Karmen is like Shawwn or Cyndee. The phonetics betray the fact that the names aren't real, and were probably chosen by very high or very stupid parents.

But more importantly, why just change half your name? It's not as if there are a lot of poeple running around out there names Xiangzabeth or Wongjamin or Yingtopher. Keeping half your name still means you've lost half. Just go with Karen or Jenny or something, or else stick with the original and hold that head high.

Karmen's mom visited once, and I stumbled into the kitchen one morning in my underwear to find her slicing up a fish head, which remained in our freezer for weeks.

I hated Karmen.