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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. I try not to think too hard about how I want to build my life around talking about other people's creations and not mine. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of a few TV shows ("The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day" for starters), you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings. I guess I was made to be a film critic.
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The Clock
View Article  Thanks, NFL, For Thinking Of The Kids

I'd like to take just a brief moment to extend warmest wishes and deepest thanks to the NFL, who censored several lyrics from the Rolling Stones' halftime show at Sunday's Super Bowl XL.

We live in a dangerous time, and it's not going too far to trim a lyric here or there to ensure a family-safe viewing environment. I applaud the NFL's decision. Their bravery turned what would have been a grotesque display of elderly men into merely a lamentable one that was safe for family audiences.

Other family-oriented moments from the broadcast included Jessica Simpson pouting her lips and feeding pizza to a 12-year-old boy and numerous beer commercials extolling the camaraderie alcohol gives to people, especially the added benefit of including children in the drinking. [Check out the ads here.]

Thanks again, guys. I'm sure your actions are motivated by the interests of the nation's families, and are in no way influenced by giant, faceless corporations. Kudos.
View Article  Transcript Of A Conversation With Two Coworkers, Sparked By A Reference To James Frey
First Coworker (reading from a press release): "The Man Who Conned Oprah."
Me: Well, that's what she gets for picking bad books and contributing to the dumbing-down of America.
Second Coworker: She's not dumbing down America.
Me: She's certainly not smarting up America. She's dragging it all down. (Pause) Oprah is the talk-show equivalent of Toby Keith.
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the quotes

"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael


"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut


"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04


"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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the wisdom
Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe


Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill


We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton


We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— August Van Zorn


There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King



Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
Ask the Dust, John Fante