Several states are considering implementing new laws or expanding current ones that ban protestors at funerals. The reason? Rev. Fred Phelps, of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kan. Phelps and members of his congregation have been picketing funerals of servicemen and -women who have died in Iraq with signs reading, among other things, "Thank God for dead soldiers." They reason that God is punishing America for its tolerance of gays, and as such is exacting the lives of the troops as the price for openmindedness.

Couple of quick hits:

• Every Christian in the country right now needs to tell the next 100 people they see that everything about Phelps is a violation of any semi-reasonable view of God. They need to decry him, and they need to do it now. Don't just shake your heads at this guy; most people, and I'm one of them, think that Christian conservatives are (1) hypocrites or (2) bomb-building zealots. I dare you to change my mind.

• Every Christian in the country right now also needs to issue a retroactive apology and denunciation of Phelps. Why? Because he's been doing this for years. This is the guy whose church traveled from Kansas to Wyoming to picket Matthew Shepard's funeral with signs reading "God hates fags." What he's doing now, praising his version of the creator for the growing body count in the Iraq war, is abonimable, but to pretend that this is the first time he's done this is foolish.

• And Mr. Phelps, if you're reading this, I don't exactly think God harbors hate for anyone, and probably doesn't use the word "fag" all that often, but I don't think he likes assholes like you that much. There are people out there trying to do real good and just live a day at a time, and you make them want to abandon their faith and everything they grew up on when you turn God into your bigoted big buddy. You're killing your religion, Phelps.

For his part, Phelps claims that such laws target his First Amendment rights and discriminate against his religion. I'll let the courts rule on that, because I really don't think it should be an issue. Phelps, you soulless piece of filth, you shouldn't be at those funerals to begin with. No mother should ever have to bury her son, especially not with your vile face screaming obscenities from 50 feet away. Do you really expect people to respect your faith when it's so repulsive?

Whatever. No one really cares, or if they do, they just assumes this'll blow over. So go on, go to Cabela's and Wal-Mart and Cracker Barrel and just pretend this never happened. I'll go with you. It's what we're good at.