me: oh man
i'm editing a review for a reality show called My Bare Lady
about porn stars taking an acting class
and it turns out that imdb has these women in their system
AND titles
ew
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0799887/
...
Sis: man, these titles are out of control
me: Fine Ass Bitches 5
that's amazing
hehehehehehe
Invasian 2
brilliant
Sis: Grand Theft Anal 9
me: hahahaha
Sis: Party at Butts Place
hahaha
oh man
most of these titles are from this year. she's had a busy year
me: apparently so
jeez
these are amazing
Absolutely Adorable
that one's kinda cute
The Maintenance Girls
that one just sounds like a drama
Sis: how deceiving
me: yeah
like maybe you rent it b/c you like maintenance
then BAM
boobies
so confusing
Sis: haha
that's how they get ya
me: "what the ...? that's not how you fix a coolant leak. OH GOOD LORD"
Sis: hahahaha
me: they should totally make educational porn
like car repair
home building
etc.
Sis: wasn't that what they made in "The Girl Next Door"?
me: no
the lesson there was "dating a porn star is probably a bad idea"
i want the lesson to be "here's how to install drywall"
Sis: no, i thought that the porn they made at school was like that
me: oh
but that was a sex ed video
everybody already knows that
wear a condom, don't sleep with girls named after cities, etc.
i want basics of modern living
painting the dining room, roofing, auto maintenance, etc.
Sis: haha
nice
me: i think porn sales would get even bigger
"hey, i love this girl! and now i can do my own grouting and tile work!"
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The Photo
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Los Angeles, California I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. I try not to think too hard about how I want to build my life around talking about other people's creations and not mine. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of a few TV shows ("The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day" for starters), you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings. I guess I was made to be a film critic. This Month
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Involving Frighteningly Graphic Subject Matter: An Online Transcript
Comments
Re: Involving Frighteningly Graphic Subject Matter: An Online Transcript
by
Kevin Longrie
on Tue 05 Dec 2006 01:39 AM PST | Permanent Link
Seems like a good idea, other than the fact that the word "nail" would quickly become overused.
Re: Involving Frighteningly Graphic Subject Matter: An Online Transcript
by
Sarah
on Tue 05 Dec 2006 08:12 AM PST | Profile | Permanent Link
You left out, what I thought, was one of the funniest parts (excuse the crudity):
me: 12 Nasty Girls Masturbating 7 does that mean there were six before that one? unnecessary Daniel: [head explodes hearing this from his sister] and yes, i bet there were 6 before it me: hahahahaha Daniel: but 7 really took the characters to new levels me: man, these titles are out of control that's true Re: Involving Frighteningly Graphic Subject Matter: An Online Transcript
by
JMW
on Tue 05 Dec 2006 09:14 AM PST | Permanent Link
Wait, does this mean I should cancel my date with Miami this weekend?
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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?
O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again. — Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives. — John Stuart Mill We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget. — G.K. Chesterton We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy. — August Van Zorn There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way. — Stephen King Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town. — Ask the Dust, John Fante |
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